10 COMMENTS. Taking offense is a decision 100% of the time, that is the point of this post, I'm sorry you can't understand that, and provide constructive discourse. How has taking offense easily shaped you? 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It’s obvious Gary is upset with me.”, “You’re probably right. Apr 8, 2017 - You Don't Have To Be Offended | Offense is a choice and sometimes an unnecessary one. I knew going into the interview that it would be unlike any interview I had ever done. One of the greatest indicators of spiritual maturity is revealed in how "we respond to the weaknesses, inexperience and potentially offensive actions of others," Elder David A. Bednar declared Sunday afternoon. I have lived this out through youth work, urban ministry, denominational staff work, and pastoring; through writing, editing, and publishing; through consulting with churches throughout the U.S. and Canada. SHARE. That’s just Gary.”, “But it’s more than that. And that is both good and bad. Similar to anger, the reaction of taking offense to what another has said or done is a decidedly moralistic emotion. Taking Offense is a Choice On my flight to a seminar today, a person behind me kept getting out of their seat by grabbing the top of my seat and pulling themselves up. Trust me, life is much more pleasant this way. Listen: Latter-day Saint wife and mother shares beautiful final testimony before passing away LDS Living - Of this week’s All In podcast, host Morgan Jones wrote the following: "On December 16, 2020, I interviewed Rebecca Hirschi for this week’s podcast. Offense of the Month, Fall 2020 Dr. Thomas Bowdler (1754–1825), for those of you who can’t quite place the name, was the family sanitizer of Shakespearean drama and eponym of that wonderful verb, “bowdlerize,” meaning to censor written texts either by removing or rewording offensive or otherwise objectionable terms and phrases. Somehow, being offended has become the vehicle by which the offended, not the offender, has power. When our identity, our emotional security, our sense of worth, is deeply rooted in God’s unconditional love for us, we have the power to refuse to take offense. Posted on February 13, 2013 by Quotes Admin “Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. I’ve always had to greet him first. In fact, that’s what Mark ended up doing. However, being 'offensive' is always a choice, regardless of whether or not it is acceptable to the 'offensive… Taking offense is a choice because most people do. And with a lot of other people. This means that our reactions to what we consider offensive should be the focus of change. That seems to have changed a little in the past few years, and it bewilders me. I can prove it with two simple examples. Can Biden Sec State Continue the 'Tougher Approach' on China? Oftentimes, taking offense is a choice. Toggle navigation Loosely Coupled Thinking. Better yet, choose not to be offended. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to … If the Reverend had used the term in a derogatory way towards Native Americans, then it could be offensive. 2 Comments Life will always have difficult people, whether it is on the job, in the family, at work or even in the church. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me, unless someone hurls a dictionary at my head. Jesus says we have options. Because context matters. 'Offended' is a poor choice of a word. Share on Facebook Share on Twitter. There you have it. If rectification does not place, the feeling of offense can be an effect. But then when you turn around and realize they were talking about Ritz and Town House, your mind pacifies. VIEWS. If you’re not sure whether or not you really are easily offended, take this test for a quick answer. Proverbs 19:11 says, “It is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (NIV). TAKING OFFENCE IS A CHOICE WE MAKE Someone quite brilliant (in my own opinion), once said “Offence can never be given, only taken”. Taking Offense An epidemic that seems to be spreading faster than Ebola. Great points! This is something particularly significant that I have come to realize. Later, a sorority president saw the banana peel and, assuming it was a provocative racial gesture, took offense. 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Taking offense is a choice. Just like the Redskins mascot itself is meant to do. Would that have been cultural appropriation worthy of taking offense? You can take offense, or you can return blessings for curses. A few days after the men’s breakfast, he talked with Gary and they cleared the air between them. In the grand division of all of God’s creations, there are things to act and things to be acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:13–14 ). Accepting Offense is a Choice. When the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right.” (emphasis mine) “Well, Mark, I can’t remember Gary ever initiating conversation with me. Today, some define offense-taking, as stated in the journal Cognitive Therapy and Research, as the “perceived deprivation of what is rightfully due to a person.” To make the conversation valuable to all, please: * Stay on topic. * Always show respect, especially when disagreeing. Jesus says I have options: “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. If, however, our feelings of security are not rooted in ourselves or our performance, our perspective will change and our response to the actions and comments of others will become more balanced. Skip to main content. The goal becomes finding a way to rectify the words spoken or actions taken with the self-concept. How to use take offense in a sentence. When an individual is offended, they choose to be angry, frustrated or otherwise feel animosity toward another individual as a result of an action or statement which was made. Why being offended is a choice. “Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back. Each time the person did so, my head was snapped back and forth by the movement. Isn’t calling a Native American “red man” just as bad as “redskin”? Take offence definition: If someone takes offence at something you say or do, they feel upset , often... | Meaning, pronunciation, translations and examples That is not a choice but a condition. Follow. While Psalm 119:165 may not exactly be talking about these kinds of offenses, the Bible does have a lot to say about the subject. We are always on the lookout for talented infrequent contributors and appropriate press releases. Our everyday language often betrays the lies we believe: “She makes me so mad.” “He makes me feel bad about myself.” The truth is, if I get mad when another person … This is what is meant when someone “takes offense.” It is misleading and untrue to say that one “was offended”, for… Being offended is a choice. When Is There a Basis for Taking Offense? It's a shame every social issue nowadays involving race or different cultures are perceived to be unarguably offensive. In our politically correct, short-fused lives we have forgotten that context matters. To take offense over such cases would be artificial, insincere, and only result in crying wolf. Gary doesn’t feel very good about himself right now, and he’s blaming other people.”, “So,” Jermaine asked, “will I see you at the breakfast tomorrow?”, Mark stared at the floor, wagged his head, then looked up with a crooked grin. This prompted Greek Life organizers to cancel the remaining events for the weekend. Before someone can offend me, I have to allow that person to do so. The reason people weren’t offended is because of context. That’s right. Why not? The words “I am offended”, are a conscious reaction to a decided thought. We’ll stop supporting this browser soon. I can prove it with two simple examples. The way to prevent taking offense is to address our desire for security. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven” (Matthew 5:11-12 NIV). Take offense definition is - to become angry or upset by something that another person has said or done : to be offended by something —often + at. When others curse us, Jesus commands us to bless them (Luke 6:28). To Be Offended Is A Choice. But you don’t have to let Gary’s problems control your actions.”, “We have a choice. Posted on 08/04/2015 by Delores Liesner. No. September 1, 2017. in Culture. Taking offense is a choice because most people do. by Guest Post. How dare they! I don’t have to let other people’s actions dictate my responses. What, at the bottom, it’s all about is your feeling treated unfairly. Bible verses about Offense Is A Choice. Were the Washington Redskins agitators offended by his use of “red man”? Ok, now on to my proof. Our everyday language often betrays the lies we believe:  “She makes me so mad.”  “He makes me feel bad about myself.”  The truth is, if I get mad when another person disrespects me, I’ve chosen to respond with anger. “I won’t be coming to the men’s breakfast tomorrow.” Mark snarled. Launched in November 2015, this blog collects stories about and comments on a pervasive phenomenon — the impulse to give and take offense — and reflects on others’ analyses of a global preoccupation with hurt feelings, personal anguish, and episodic and systematic outrage. Gary’s just not a very happy person. But before I do, consider this story… That’s right. Taking offense is a choice and I can prove it. You’ve chosen not to be offended. Yes, that really happened. In 2008, at President Obama’s Inauguration, Reverend Joseph Lowery said the following: Wait…the next time you start to feel offended, remember: You have a choice. Being 'offended' is not always a choice. Taking offense is a choice. ‘Crucial Conversations’ by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, and Switzler also addresses this truth for anyone who is interested. During this season, I am living out my call to help churches become healthier by focusing on helping church leaders become healthier and more fruitful, through writing, coaching, and leading retreats and training events. Gary is unhappy with me too. This is a great place to share with other Christian leaders about the heart issues of ministry. Filter content To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else." It is the person who feels offended by what they consider offensive … One of the most common reasons people take offense is insecurity. Today I’m sharing a story of an interesting experience I went through recently when I posted a video that a group of people found offensive (many before even taking the time to view it). AT ECCLESIASTES 7:9, the Bible states: “The taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones.” This verse shows that we should not be overly sensitive when someone offends us; rather, we should be forgiving. EMAIL. Read our tips for stepping back and considering before taking offense. My sensibility can be 'offended' without ever effecting my feelings. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. My lifelong passion has been to help the church become healthier. And “taking offense” is an ancient device, historically used by clerics, employed to silence somebody. Taking offense is a choice. Why? *Facepalm* Taking offense is a choice - and a sign Get link; Facebook; Twitter; Pinterest; Email; Other Apps; September 30, 2016 As we work at clearing out negative energies and becoming our true selves, we're human and will still find ourselves reacting to certain things. For the best experience please update your browser. Let’s say you’re at the grocery store and you hear someone behind you say, “Look at all these crackers, they all look the same!” Initially, you might be taken aback. T… Posted Oct 11, 2014 . So choose wisely, always consider the context, and give the benefit of the doubt. Or do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law is binding on a person only as long as he lives? Brant Hansen has written a whole book on this simple yet powerful truth: I can choose to be “unoffendable” (Unoffendable, Thomas Nelson 2015). “I refuse to let anyone disrespect me the way Gary does.”, “Last Sunday after church, Gary and I were the only ones in the kitchen, and Gary didn’t even speak to me.”, Jermaine chuckled. Referring to 2 Nephi 2:13-14, Elder Bednar said: "To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon." Absolutely. It’s not always that simple, but sometimes it is. As long as feelings of security are rooted in ourselves, the tendency to take offense, even at the little things, will exist. Thank you for the book recommendation too. Insecurities are based on one’s self-concept, ideas and feelings about self (Coon & Mitterer, 2009). “Yeah, you’re right. It is our choice whether or not to agree with satan’s suggestions to get offended about the “raw deal” we got. TWEET. You can get mad, or you can rejoice and be glad. It seems that people are getting offended more easily. When Gary acts like a jerk, we can take offense, or we can let Gary’s problems be Gary’s problems and refuse to make them ours. Suppose the official joined in and danced with each one? 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